Now Back to Our Regularly Scheduled Program

So I interrupted this “in progress” post to share with you the post about my encounter with the unidentified wild animal.   Hopefully you enjoyed it, but now we should get back to our regularly scheduled program.  Just to update you quickly on the last two belly dancing classes – I believe we have learned nearly the entire dance (which beginning to end lasts less than three minutes).  In my mind, the only thing missing from my dance (I mean other than a person who actually looks sexy doing it) is a grand flourish of an ending.  I attempted to practice the choreography this weekend at the cabin but drew a total blank towards the end.  I knew there were “choreography notes” on the studio’s website so I decided to look them up and give myself a quick refresher.  I located the notes on the website and they might as well have been written in wingdings font (for those of you not familiar with “wingdings font” – here is a sampler: (ioikammellowarea).  I am NOT exaggerating.  I mean seriously?  For beginners I would hope the notes would be “written for dummies” – sort of like “Ok girls, remember to do your tippy toe steps and then turn in your circle thingy and then you do that again and do another circle thingy and then you do your shimmy shimmy and then you spin around.”  That’s the type of notes that would work for me – NOT “1^st 8: 1-2 is R s-s-s, 3-4 is L s-s-s w/ arms in standard W. 5-8 is 4 X R small traveling Egyptian hip twists in CW circle L hand behind head, R arm straight out from shoulder finger tips towards ceiling – remember to isolate!”  As soon as I arrived at class this week I asked the instructor to do a quick refresher for us because the dance notes made me want to curl up in the fetal position and go to my happy place.  She said “no problem, everyone complains about them” – weeelll, shouldn’t that prompt some sort of  revision of the notes?  They should let me re-write them! 

Anyway, I was totally out of sorts in belly dancing class this week.  Not only did I arrive at class not remembering the last bit of the dance, but my mind was totally on other things.  I just felt 100,000 miles away during the lesson and I think the instructor noticed.  I am proud of myself for actually going to the class – it was touch and go there for about an hour until I finally decided I had to go.  Where was my mind - if not on belly dancing?   I learned earlier in the day that I have to testify at a hearing involving a foreclosure I conducted TWO STINKING YEARS AGO!!!  While I was in Ireland I was contacted by an attorney regarding this same foreclosure.  The hearing was supposed to happen in July while I was still out of the country.  I provided my statement via affidavit which I had notarized in Skibbereen, County Cork and then I mailed it overnight to the US – none of which was easy to accomplish – I assure you.  As my luck would have it, the hearing did NOT happen while I was in Ireland – and now it is scheduled to happen next month. Yay!!  Goody!! Super fantastic!!!   Now that I am back on US soil they want me to testify in person, which means opposing counsel gets to cross examine me and do her best to make it look like I screwed it all up so that her poor helpless client who borrowed millions of dollars is not responsible for paying a deficiency.  Learning all this just took me back to that place again – that worrisome and stressful place (a place VERY VERY VERY far away from my happy place).  So, because I was in “that place” again it was difficult for me to be totally present during class.  I pretty much stayed in “that place” all night and had difficulty sleeping.  Go away worrisome / stressful place!!!!  You are not welcome here!!!!!  The next day CONTRACTOR Tanya asked “why do you care about that foreclosure” – “well, I don’t know, I just do.”  The look on her face said she didn’t understand why it was causing me such distress.  Unfortunately, I didn’t have a good explanation for her. 

My out-of-sortness is probably also being perpetuated by my “between book status.”  It happens every time I finish a good book or collection of books.  I know I need to jump to a new book (and I have plenty of books to choose from), but I always feel reluctant moving on.  I know I will like the new book if I just give it a chance, but I really miss the old book.  I inevitably have a couple days where I am just stuck in book purgatory.  Yes, I realize that this post is a little depressing and I have just pointed out to all of you that I am a chronic worry freak who has book separation anxiety.  Luckily most of you already knew this.

I’m also on my period (or having my “lady days” if you prefer).  Sorry male followers.  It is what it is.  No matter how much “Dove for Men” soap Darryl puts in my bathroom, I am still a girl.  Period happens. 

I wish all the blogs could be funny and happy, but unfortunately “scary trials designed to make me look like an inadequate attorney” + “book purgatory” + “lady days” does not = happy funny blog.  I’ll try harder next time. 

To Conclude (and yes, I think we can all agree, it’s time to bring this post to a close), next week is our final belly dancing class.  It doesn’t look like there will be any final exam or special recital (thank God) to recognize our having mastered (and I use that term loosely) the dance.  I assume that on this final day we will run through the entire dance “from the top” no less than 500 times (to ensure our proficiency) and then we will simply be released into the world – having reached belly dancing enlightenment. 

Maybe we’ll get a certificate, or a sticker . . . . or cookies.

I'll go away now.