Ok - So, if you work in an office setting you know that there is always an unspoken poop stall where everyone goes when they need to, well, poop. I don't guess this is the case in the men's bathroom because there are urinals and I suppose that unless you have a deformity or are gun shy, most men just use the urinals so anytime they are in the stalls they are pooping - so all the stalls in the men's restroom are poop stalls. Well, anyway, in the women's bathroom there is a poop stall. It is typically the one in the back (almost always the handicapped stall - no reason that I know of for that) and always has a spray can of deodorizer in the corner. The only reason I bring this up is because I do from time to time visit the poop stall at work. When I was a lot younger I was shy about pooping anywhere but in my own bathroom, but nowadays I am just so happy to be having a poop that I just let the chips fall where they may - and at work it's in the poop stall (I won't even go into what happens if someone is already in the poop stall - OR God forbid someone is not pooping in the poop stall - most women know that's not cool. We might make an exception for a handicapped person, but that's it). So, for some reason, every time I visit the poop stall at this current office the janitor lady comes in to clean the bathroom, change the toilet paper, empty the trash, etc. At every other office I have been in, the janitor lady will just skip your stall and move on to the next bathroom. Not this janitor lady. She will do all the other stalls and then stand by the sink until you are finished. I really take issue with this. I have, on several occasions, almost shouted out to her "I'm gonna be a minute. You might want to go grab a coffee or something." Or I feel like saying, "I will tidy up in here when I am finished, just toss me over a couple rolls of toilet paper and I will restock, take care now." But she just stands there. Women are weird (not me though) about poop and typically don't like talking about it (not me obviously, and oddly not the Ladies of Conference the Conference Room - we talk about poop all the time in Conference Room C - Juniata even wrote a paper in college on taking a satisfying shit (I am TOTALLY not making that up) - she got an A+). So when I have been in the poop stall for what seems like ages to me and then I exit the poop stall to constantly find the janitor lady propped up against the sinks waiting with her supplies in hand I feel a bit awkward. She always says "Hi, how are you today?" - What do you say to that??? "Fine now" or "I could have used a few more minutes." But I just say "fine, and you.?" Never do I say "You might want to wait a few minutes before going in" because she has been in the bathroom with me the whole time. If she wasn't deterred before she wouldn't be now. I tried to alter my "sitting" time to see if I could avoid her, but it seems that no matter when I go - there she is. I will be in the poop stall and hear the door open and hear bags rattling and keys rattling and I know it's her. The Ladies of the Conference Room think it's funny. One day I am going to stay in there until she gives up. I work by the hour now so that's a risky proposition, but I feel like it has to be done.
Anyway, we are at a transition stage at work right now waiting on some more files to review so I have a bit of free time. I know that you are terrified that I found out I can access my blog at work and now you think I am going to be blogging all day long. I don't think I will, but it's too soon to promise anything. Once we get our new batch of files I will be otherwise occupied. So, don't start worrying just yet.
Chat with you later
Oh, for the Twilight lovers - check out the following - it is a blog post from that hilarious blog chick I told you about. I am seriously in love with her. She curses a lot in her blogs so if that is an issue for you, don't read her blogs. I suspect most folks who follow my blogs are ok with a bit of profanity. Enjoy:
http://thebloggess.com/2011/11/its-like-a-hoodie-but-with-fangs/
Next time she's hovering while you're in the stall, start making weeping sounds. Don't say anything else, just prepare to wait it out while alternately sniffing and wailing. I bet she leaves you alone.
ReplyDeleteThat's a FABULOUS idea! However, knowing my luck, she would still be waiting on the outside and ready to engage me in an intra-bathroom therapy session. Even worse, when she heard me crying she might use her walky-talky to call for reinforcements and when I came out of the stall all the janitor ladies in the whole building would be out there waiting to give me group hug. You never know what could happen when you try to fake out the janitor lady.
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