I feel certain that y'all are going to get mighty tired of hearing about my gnat situation, but I just can't help it - they have been the bane of my existence this spring/summer!!!!!!! And when something annoys me so - - I blog about it. You might suffer as a result, but that's just the way it's gonna have to be. Anyway, a couple of weeks ago when the gnats came back in full force (causing me to increase the number of death mugs placed around the house), I emailed the homeowner's association to see if anyone else has complained about gnats. I started to think that maybe someone was dead in the building and that everyone was being swarmed with gnats as a result of the decaying body and that once the body was removed, the gnats would disappear. Unfortunately that was not the case. One board member said he wasn't having any trouble with gnats, but another board member said she did have gnats in her unit. The non-affected board member (male of course) said to put beer in a cup and cover it with plastic wrap and then poke holes so they go in, but can't get back out. Whatever dude, I've been using death mugs in my house for like weeks!! The affected board member said "cool, I'll try that." I wished her luck. A couple days later the board sent out a reminder that the exterminator would be making his quarterly visit to the building and that if we wanted our units treated individually we could call and get on the schedule. I called immediately to get on the schedule. Like with any such visit, there was a three hour window to wait for the exterminator - my three hour window was 9am to 12pm. So I took the morning off and waited. Like with any such visit, I reached the 12pm mark and had not seen hide nor tail of the exterminator. It was just me and my gnats - so we kept waiting. It was at this moment that I decided I was not going to go into Conference Room C that day and I emailed the Ladies of the Conference Room and let them know I was taking a mental health day to deal with my gnats and the stress resulting therefrom. Finally, the exterminator knocked on my door.
Exterminator: Hi, what seems to be the problem?
Me: I have gnats. Lots and lots of gnats.
Exterminator: Mind if I take a look around?
Me: I insist on it.
[As we walked through the house I explain all my gnat research to him and how I learned to make the death mugs and how it worked at first but now it has gotten totally out of hand and I wondered if my death mugs might not be helping the situation. Basically I ran my mouth the whole time as I followed him through the condo. It's what I do - I fill awkward silence with constant chatter. Finally, we reached my bathroom - the epicenter of gnats in my condo - where three active death mugs were located.]
Me (holding death mug full of dead gnats out to show him - while multitudes of gnats swarmed around our heads): See, here's what I made to catch the gnats.
Exterminator (peering into the death mug): Look how many you caught!
Me: Yeah. But there are still a lot of gnats in the house. They just keep multiplying.
Exterminator: I think you should probably stop feeding the gnats.
Me: Uh. . . . what? You mean get rid of my death mugs??
Exterminator: I think so.
Me: Huh, Ok. These gnats are driving me CRAZY though. I have to get rid of them. It's either me or the gnats. I can't stay here a second longer with all these gnats!!!!!
Exterminator: There are worse problems to have.
Me: Well, yeah . . . . but this ranks right up there don't you think?
He didn't respond to that. He was probably raised by wolves or has only 30 days left to live or something. My gnat situation didn't seem to impress him.
The exterminator then sprayed some bug spray in all my drains and said to just wait it out that they should start to go away after a few days.
That was 7 days ago and while the gnats have dwindled some since I stopped beckoning them to my condo with the sweet sweet smell of vinegar, they are still here. I battle them every night. It's an all out war zone in my bathroom before I go to bed. I stand with my bug spray (it says "safe to use around kids and pets" on the label so I figure it's OK to use) and I spray them individually as they land on the mirror or fly by my head. Sometimes it's rapid fire spray if I catch a bunch together. Sometimes it's one shot and you're dead. Sometimes if they land on the mirror I just smack them. Or I spray them with Fantastic. Or I spray them with hairspray. This goes on every night. Sometimes I kill 10 or more. I have had a headache for over a week now and this morning I saw that Earl the Cat had vomited on the hardwood floor sometime in the night. War is tricky business. There are often casualties. It's to be expected. But I think Mr. Exterminator was right, there are worse problems to have. I think I will cease fire for a couple of nights and see what happens. If they don't go away, I will pack Earl the Cat up in the cat carrier, check into a hotel and call the exterminator back to napalm the condo.
Whether you like it or not ... I will keep you posted.
