Sculptures, Vampires and Bugs, Oh My!!!!

I had zero intention of exercising this weekend and every intention of parking my arse in a theatre seat with a bucket of popcorn and a large Diet Coke (with extra extra ice) for the opening of Twilight Saga – Breaking Dawn (Part 1).  I mean, I get that exercise is good for you and all, but seriously, we’re talking about Twilight here – and if you learn anything about me during our time together, you must learn that vampires always trump fitness.  I would think this goes without saying, but I didn’t want to leave any confusion.  In light of the foregoing, I will give the Twilight update before moving on to fitness.  Some of you might be wondering why, if vampires are sooooooo important, I didn’t catch one of the midnight or 2:00am sneak peeks.  Well, simply put, soft pants and/or my comfy bed have at least a 50% chance of trumping vampires, particularly on a school night (also, I couldn’t talk anyone into going with me and sitting in a theatre at 2am by yourself watching vampires might cross over the line into the realm of disturbing I'm not willing to breach).  Anyway, by close of business on Sunday, I (along with my BFF Mel) managed to catch two showings of Breaking Dawn, one at 4:30pm on Friday, surrounded by mostly folk our age out to catch the early bird showing and avoid the teenagers, and one at 9:50pm on Saturday night, surrounded by spirited younger folk (and a crying baby).  No matter what Benji and Darryl say (they went with us to the 4:30 showing) – the movie is FUN and FABULOUS – and no matter what Sarah and Lisa say – the only team choice is TEAM EDWARD baby!!!  Can I get an Amen?

 

Even though I had no intentions of exercising this weekend, once my Twilight plans were lined up, I had no reason to turn down fitness invitations.  My goal is to accept all fitness invitations unless I have a legitimate excuse.  So, when Gerry invited me to take a walk in Piedmont Park with him and his dog Mocha on Saturday morning, I accepted.  Plus, he enticed me with the promise of Starbucks coffee and muffins from one of the vendors at the farmers market.  To my disappointment (and to his supposed shock) the muffin lady was absent from the farmers market that morning.  We did have our Starbucks coffee though and walked around the park for about an hour and a half with Mocha leading the way.  We took a stroll to a new area of the park that will link up with the new BeltLine Project in Atlanta.  As we were headed down one path I glanced to my right and noticed a figure standing in the middle of the path just over a newly constructed wooden bridge.  I stood still and stared at the figure across the bridge and it remained perfectly still.  I finally realized it was not an actual person.  Now I was intrigued.  I thought to myself, has someone put some kind of cardboard person in the middle of the park to freak people out?  I yelled out to Gerry, who had walked on with Mocha, “I’m going to check this out,” and I headed off towards the bridge.  When I reached the figure, I discovered that it was a thin, black metal sculpture anchored and bolted to a block of cement in the middle of the path.  Someone had drawn a face on the sculpture with pink spray paint.  It was altogether creepy.  Because it looked somewhat official I looked around for some explanation and found a marker off to the side of the path that said it was a tribute to the folks that died in connection with the historic railways the BeltLine is making use of.  Okay, I am all for a tribute, a sculpture, a memorial or whatever to remember folk for something they did or something they died for.  What I am not in favor of is a creepy, perpetrator-like, dark, menacing, human-shaped sculpture placed in the dead center of a wooded pathway of a secluded area of a public park.  Really?  Who decided that was a good idea? If I picture the person who made this decision, he (and I am 100% certain it was a he) is wearing a gray Members Only jacket and dark sunglasses.   I can’t imagine running along that path at dusk and coming within 30 yards of that thing without turning tail and running the other direction.  I feel duty bound to contact the park officials to let them know that perhaps a soothing water feature or grouping of standing stones off to the side would have been a more appropriate memorial – and such choices would certainly make park goers feel less like the Zodiac Killiller was blocking the road up ahead.  I have posted a picture of the sculpture below and would love your opinion. Maybe I am being overdramatic.

Me, Gerry and Mocha



Creepy Zodiac Killer Sculpture

On Sunday, shortly after enjoying a stack of pumpkin pancakes at Java Jive (my favorite breakfast joint), Lawrence texted me and invited me to join him at Grant Park for a walk/run.  He was planning on running eleven miles as part of his marathon training.  While I really really really wanted to say “No thanks” and just veg out on the couch, I accepted the invitation (yay me!).  He said it would take him about two hours to do his eleven miles.  I decided maybe I would walk for one hour and then sit and read at the coffee shop for the last hour.  I assumed that he ran around a track and that as he ran around I would be walking and we would pass each other several times along the way.  Well, I had that all wrong.  He typically runs “around” the park on the main roads – with an occasional detour through the park.  It was 3pm when we started our run/walk and we would be finishing around 5:00pm, just shy of sunset.  Not sure if you know, but I am a big chicken when it comes to walking around alone in areas I am not particularly familiar with.  Lawrence assured me there would be plenty of folks running and walking around and that he would likely pass me from time to time.  Once Lawrence and I parted (him running and me walking) I didn’t see him again until the last 30 minutes.  What I did see during my walk was several ladies in full burka having a picnic in the park, a blimp, a dog named Crouton and a residence-challenged man who proclaimed to me as I passed “That’s a cute ass smile momma.”  Also, the weather here in Atlanta keeps flip-flopping between chilly Fall temps and balmy Summer temps.  Sunday evening was in the 70s and it was very hazy and humid.  Apparently it was the perfect mix of wet and warm to call every gnat in existence to come swarm the area.  I got at least two gnats stuck in my eye and untold numbers sucked down my throat and stuck to the sweat on my face and neck.  It was a constant duck and swat as I made my way around the park two times in one and a half hours (Yes!  I kept walking and didn’t go to the café – again – yay me!).  When I finally ran into Lawrence at 4:30pm, he looked like a human fly paper.  He was covered in gnats!!!  He still had a mile or so left to run so he tossed me the keys to the car and headed back up the street.  As he ran away I yelled “Don’t touch those bugs; I’m going to take a picture of you when you get back!”  I’m not sure I would have been able to run another mile knowing I had a plastering of bugs stuck to me, but he did!!  The pictures are pasted below.  While you can see a speckling of gnats on his neck, the pictures don't really do his bug coverage justice.  He had bugs stuck in the sweat on neck, face, hair, etc.  He looked like the grill on the front of a sports car.  He must have really been zooming down the road!  Smelly, sweaty and bug-beadazzled, we got in the car and headed home!  All in all it was a pretty productive weekend - the perfect mix of fitness and fangs!



Lawrence covered in bugs (look closely)

 

A closer look





Ladies of the Conference Room and the Matter of the Stairwell Detainment

This will be a fairly quick update (“quick” by my definition – perhaps not yours – as I generally tend to be long-winded).  The side effects of my stairwell descent from this past Friday lasted well into Tuesday.  I still had a little “hitch in my giddyup” on Tuesday afternoon, so when CONTRACTORS Clare and Tanya asked me if I was walking the stairs after work I had to say no.  Clare left work and headed down the stairwell from hell around 4:30 and Tanya followed a couple hours later.  Tanya decided to actually run down the stairs to add a little “extra” to the workout.  She’s a crazy one that Tanya.  The lighting in the stairwell is dim and the steps are narrow – running down them is “flirting with disaster” if you ask me.  I would fall down – break my legs and end up as dinner for the rats before anyone found me.  Anyway, when Tanya got to work the next day she informed us that security stopped her in the stairwell as she reached the lobby level.  She was steady running down, down, down as she heard someone holler from above.  She remembered that one time before as she was running down she thought she heard someone holler out, but she just kept going.  Clare also noted that she thought she heard a voice when she took the stairs at 4:30, but thought nothing of it.  While this new “stairwell workout program” is great for the thighs and butt, the stairwell is honestly a bit creepy – you can imagine about 5000 scenarios why a woman should not be running down a semi-dark, deserted stairwell alone.  Like before, after she heard the person holler, she just kept on running – cell phone at the ready in case she needed to call for help.  However, this time, the hollering continued and so she stopped.  The man (whom she couldn’t see because he was at least three flights above her) was now clearly yelling “Ma’am!” down at her.  She yelled back up at the guy “Are you talking to me?” in a somewhat cocky tone of voice.  The man answered “Yes, I AM talking to you,” as he continued to walk down the steps towards her (she surely wasn’t going to climb back up the steps towards him – one, that would be stupid, she had no idea who he was or what he intended, and two, we walk DOWN the steps, we don’t walk UP).  If he wanted her, he was going to have to go get her.  So he did.  When he finally reached her, she could tell by his attire that he was building Security.  It took a few minutes for him to catch his breath, as he was actually chasing her down the steps (and he was losing the race).  He said to her “What are you doing in here?” to which she responded (still holding onto the attitude) “I’m exercising. What’s the problem?” Not amused by her attitude, the Security Guard explained “Ma’am, it is illegal to be in this stairwell.  We have been trying to catch someone in this stairwell for the past week and a half.  You are setting off alarms on every floor as you go down the steps.  What is your name and who do you work for?”  “Oh” Tanya responded (losing the attitude).  “We didn’t know that.  My fellow contract workers and I (yes, she sold us out!) have been going down the stairs to exercise.  Illegal, really?”  Since she was nearly at the bottom of the stairwell and had already triggered all of the alarms, he let her continue to the bottom with the promise that she would inform the rest of us that our exercise program was canceled, effective immediately.  Once we were all back together, had been properly briefed about the “Stairwell Detainment” and had managed to catch our breath after laughing at the knowledge that we had managed to elude the Security Guards for a week and a half while triggering alarms on 36 floors of one of Atlanta’s premier office buildings, we determined that there’s no way in hell it was actually “illegal” to use the stairwell.  We haven’t fully researched this allegation (you can be sure that we will), but we reckon the word “illegal” was thrown out by the Security Guard in response to Tanya’s snotty attitude.  Sure it might be against building policy to use the stairwell, but illegal? – unlikely.  There are no warnings posted on the door to the stairwell.  I checked.  There is only a sign that says "Stairs".  You would think there would be some sort of posting on a portal to an illegal stairwell, such as “STOP – You are entering a restricted area.  Unauthorized entry is illegal.  You will be prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law.”  There isn’t so much as an “Only Use For Emergencies” note.  Regardless of the actual “illegality” of our exercise program, we are in agreement that we will no longer be making use of the stairwell from hell.  Too bad.  It was kind of fun and outrunning Security Guards would certainly increase the level difficulty. 

One other amusing anecdote from last week is that CONTRACTOR Clare’s single friends have started texting Clare for the advice of the “Ladies of the Conference Room.”  Mainly the “Dear Ladies of the Conference Room” advice revolves around relationship issues.  Through our Conference Room Outreach Program we hope to make amends for our illegal stairwell activities and restore balance to the world - one single lady at a time.    

And you thought contract work wasn't exciting.  Sheesh!

Stairway from Hell and a Message from God

See, the problem with Halloween candy is that people who have a surplus after all the tricking and treating is over end up bringing it all to the office to save them from eating it all at home.  Good for you for not binging on post-Halloween candy – but guess who is now eating all the candy you purchased and want to save yourself from eating??  ME DAMNIT!! – someone who didn’t buy tons candy in the first place because I can’t be trusted to have bags of candy laying around the house!!!!!! I guess the trick’s on me.  Next time please donate it to charity or just throw it away, mmmkay.  Needless to say I have stuffed my face for the past week on everyone else’s surplus Halloween candy.  On Friday CONTRACTOR Juniata and I had the brilliant idea that we would walk down the 40 or so flights of stairs leading from the 36^th Floor of the SunTrust Plaza building to the street.  You might wonder where I get 40 flights when we are on floor 36 – well, unbeknownst to us, there are at least 4 or 5 more flights to get from lobby level to street level and THEN, when your knees are knocking and your legs are shaking like Bill Cosby’s J-E-L-L-O, you have to actually climb a flight of stairs to get out the door.  It took us fifteen minutes to make it all the way down.  I wasn’t necessarily winded when we reached the bottom, because we took out time going down, but I was sweating (of course – I am a sweater – we’ve established that), and as mentioned, my knees were hurting and my legs were very shaky - much like the Hanker for a Hunk of Cheese guy on the School House Rock cartoon (if you remember that, if not, I've pasted a link below - check out his wobbly knees - I love the Hanker for a Hunk of Cheese guy!).

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U3jgo5ea_zc   (Link to YouTube School House Rock clip)

Usually the soreness won’t really manifest itself until the next day, but by the time I reached my car after our fifteen minute descent from floor 36, I could already feel pain in my thighs and calves.  By the time I woke up Saturday morning I could barely move and had to get the rolling pin out to rub my legs (front and back).  It’s times like this that a husband would come in handy.  Anyway, Saturday night as I was nursing my wounds, Lawrence texted me to ask if I wanted to go on a 20 minute jog Sunday morning.  I asked what time he was thinking of running because I already had 9:00am breakfast plans with my friends Jill and Andrew (followers of this blog of course!).  Surprisingly Lawrence suggested 7:00am (this is surprising because Lawrence is not typically an early riser).  Given my new goal to accept as many fitness invitations as I can (and since I previously committed to running with Lawrence on his 20 or 30 minute running days during his marathon training), I said “Let’s do it.”  Lawrence later confessed that he was hoping I would not accept this early morning running rendezvous.  I set my clock for 6:30am (keeping daylight savings in mind) and arrived at Lawrence’s house just shy of 7:00am.  I won’t lie and say I was able to run the whole 20 minutes without stopping, but I did manage to run at least half of the time if not more.  I would run until my lungs were screaming and I was about to hyperventilate and then I would walk for a spell.  Lawrence mentioned that he told Darryl (who lives across the street from Lawrence) that we were running in the morning and that Darryl's response was “Amy’s running?  Does she have a sports bra”?  I’ll have you know that I have several sports bras and I wear at least two of them while doing any vigorous exercise!!  The problem is not “do I have” – in the words of Little Mermaid, “I've got gadgets and gizmos a-plenty, I've got whozits and whatzits galore.  You want thingamabobs? I've got twenty! But who cares? No big deal. I want more!”  I’ve got exercise videos (VHS and CD), hand weights, leg weights, a 20 pound weight vest (yes, really, it looks like a bullet proof vest), jump ropes, tension bands, thigh-a-mabobs, exercise ball, 5 pound kettlebell, treadmill, bicycle . . . . .   the problem is not “do I have,” but “will I use.”  If there was a full scale fitness crisis in the US – I’d be ready!!!

So, what was the message from God?  I’m not sure if any of you know why I went to law school in the first place, but I assure you it was not to make tons of money in the high-powered world of big law. Yeah, I knew there were lawyers in the world who made tons of money, but I never imagined myself in that world.  Some of that might have something to do with a lack of confidence in myself, but mostly I just saw myself doing something different.  I got the idea to go to law school while doing an internship in 1999 at the Mediation Center of Asheville in connection with getting my Masters in Counseling.  Most of the mediators were lawyers and I thought it would be an rewarding career.   So I went to law school.  Now, most lawyers will say they originally wanted to go to law school to “help people” – a few of those folks were telling the truth, but a good number were just saying what they needed to say to write their personal statements for law school applications – no one wants to say they want to go to law school to make lots of money or because their parents are both lawyers – so what the heck.  But I really did want to help people – I wasn’t opposed to making a decent living while helping people, but helping people was always the goal.  When I ended up doing very well in law school and getting swept off my feet by big law, I sort of lost sight of that original goal (as many of us do).  Yeah, I did pro bono when I had the time, but, believe it or not, real estate was very busy once and I didn’t have a lot of spare time.  Even after being swept off my feet I always knew that I would not stay in big law forever.  I often said I was on the “five year plan.”  Again, when you are really busy and don’t have much time for a breath, five years goes by in a blink (scary, I know).  So instead of five years going by, eight years went by. I guess when the real estate world came to a screeching halt, it gave me time to take a breath and evaluate my career goals.  Hence the turning in of my notice and self-evaluating sabbatical to Ireland.  Anyway, my friend Robin called me the other day and mentioned how she had taken this great course to get certified in mediation.  It got me thinking back to 1999 when I decided to go to law school and my original goal of doing mediation.  So, I am not going to ignore the message.  Mediation courses are not cheap and it is not easy to get started in mediation, but it’s along the lines of what I always saw myself doing and it’s worth looking into.  I wanted to pass this along to my faithful followers who wonder what the heck I am going to do with myself.  Just when you think the light at the end of the tunnel has been temporarily turned off, you get a spark!!  Thanks for triggering my spark Robin!!!  I will keep you posted on this front. 

Ciao, for now..  



Heading out for our 7am jog!!!!

  

My gadgets and gizmos a-plenty!


 

Alternate view of my gadets and gizmos!