It's Not My Birthday Anymore and the Disbanding of the Ladies of the Conference Room

So, as usual, I celebrated my birthday for several weeks.  I mean, doesn't everyone?  As you know from a previous blog (and No you won't be tested), my birthday festivities actually started a week or so before my birthday with a cabin weekend with Lawrence and Rick.  Then on the actual day of my birth (41 years later), I had caramel cake at work in our windowless interior office (thanks Juniata!) and then dinner (and more cake) with Gerry and Mel later that evening.  The following weekend I traveled home to Asheville to celebrate some more and to attend Mom's miniature show at the folk art gallery.  Mom surprised me with a wonderful painting of Union Hall, Ireland.  I LOVE LOVE LOVE it so much.  And finally, this past weekend I traveled to Chicago to visit Darryl (whose birthday was in January) and we celebrated both of our birthdays with cupcakes (I will NOT disclose how many we ate).  Benji was out of town until Sunday. We also did a really cool activity at the Art Institute of Chicago.  Darryl texted me before I arrived in Chicago and told me he had a great activity for us to do - and that it involved nudity.  Ooookkaaayy, that sounds fabulous.  I knew it would not involve OUR nudity because neither me nor Darryl enjoys letting it all hang out for everyone to see.  He kept the activity a secret until I arrived.  I had all kinds of guesses ready - some crazy naked rollerskating strip club (my Mom helped with that guess), sumo wrestling (not us obviously), a massage, a Korean spa . . . .  I could not have been further from the truth!!  The naked activity was a group scavenger hunt at the Art Institute of Chicago. The questions mostly related (in some way or another) to the various paintings and sculptures featuring nudity!!  Except for our first questions which related to a painting about chickens ........I can't quite figure out the connection there.  We did not win first place but we had a blast!!  It was great exercise and a great way to enjoy the art museum (although Darryl would yell at me if I tried to admire a painting that was not on our hunt - so competitive!!).  So, My birthday celebrations are now over.  I am official 41 and am no longer celebrating . . . . for obvious reasons.

Also, I know I have cried wolf many times regarding the "imminent completion" of my current gig, but it has finally happened.  We were told yesterday that this is our last week.  The Ladies of the Conference Room are being disbanded.  It was a great gig and I made some life-long friends.  I am even going to do some residential closings with Juniata!!  I don't know how soon another gig will come along, but I have high hopes that something exciting is right around the corner.  I will keep you posted - as usual.

My wonderful painting of Union Hall, Ireland
Thanks Mom!!!  Best. Birthday. Present. Ever!

Panoramic from Darryl/Benji's balcony.  First thing in the morning.

Birthday dinner with Darryl!!

Birthday cake and cupcakes.  We also had a to-go box
of cupcakes . . . . and that's all I'll say about that...

 

I had to borrow Benji's puffy coat.  It was COLD outside!!!
I loved it!

Where our naked activity went down !!

Bathroom Instructions Gallery. . . . for the mentally and hygienically challenged

So, I was really just wondering if corporate restrooms for men typically house a gallery of snippy notes on how to properly behave while in the restroom?  I will admit that women can be a bit more snippy at times (and trust me, that is not always the case because I know some snippy men) but apparently other women's poor behavior in the loo is not something that can go unchecked in the corporate world.  I was just wondering if the same was the case in the men's restroom.  Do y'all have notes scattered around that say "PLEASE DON'T PEE ON THE FLOOR.  THAT'S NOT FAIR TO THE REST OF US MEN"  or perhaps "DON'T MAKE DIRECT EYE CONTACT WITH OTHER MEN WHILE STANDING AT THE URINAL.  THAT'S JUST NOT POLITE" or maybe even "PLEASE TAKE YOUR NEWSPAPER WITH YOU WHEN EXITING THE STALL.  OTHER MEN DO NOT WANT TO TOUCH A PAPER YOU READ WHILST TAKING A SHIT."  No?  This doesn't happen in men's restrooms?  Well it sure as hell happens in women's restrooms.  And I can't even complain too much because I will admit that when I see something nasty in the restroom I too want to write a note - - - - - and I may or may not have composed one of the notes below, but mine was neither snippy nor condescending - it was just matter of fact.  And quite frankly - it needed to be said.  Please enjoy the gallery of notes that adorn the corporate women's restroom where I currently work.  And YES these are all in the same room.



I'm not sure if a woman has ever "lifted the seat" to pee.  There are nasty
things under that seat.  But I am also amazed when women do feel the need to hover
over the seat in a corporate bathroom.  The corporate bathroom is cleaned
daily by housekeeping who wear white shirts and black vests.  They do a wonderful job. 
I understand hovering over the seat in a nasty gas station bathroom, but in a nice corporate
bathroom where seat protectors are provided and it gets cleaned every day?  That's just
paranoia ladies!!!!  Sit your arses down and stop peeing on the seat like men!!!

And just so you know, when a woman says "Thanks so much" in such a note - it really means
"For Fuck Sake"



This note actually seems like someone is BEGGING, PLEADING WITH US to flush twice.
The fact that we don't already KNOW to flush twice when we see a "floater"
is somewhat ridiculous.  I for one always check to see if I need a re-flush -
regardless of whether or not I am formally instructed to do so. 

Here, the flowery "Thank You" actually means "You Dumb Shit!"



This sign is appropriate - because it alerts us women to a
change in protocol.  You see, in most public women's restrooms, you CAN dispose of your
sanitary product in the discrete trash can provided in the actual stall. 
However, here, for some God-awful reason, we have to grab a bag out - and then
carry our used sanitary products out to the common area (in front of everyone) and toss them
in the main trash can.  I don't like this process, but I know how to follow instructions. 
Some people, obviously don't

I will admit - this is the note I made.  Which is a bold move by a contractor - I must say. 
But I did it early in the morning and waited until no one was looking. 
It wasn't until a week after I started noticing that some women weren't following instructions
before my God-given "don't let a woman get away with this - must leave a note" instinct kicked in. 
My reminder was short and sweet.  I don't think it was snippy at all. 
Just a "gentle reminder" if you will. 

 

This new step-by-step tutorial (with helpful pictures and strategic highlighting) was placed
in the restroom several days following my "THIS IS NOT A TRASH CAN" note.  I guess
this particular woman felt like mine was neither strong nor snippy enough to really get the job done.
I particularly like the red highlighted "(HERE'S THE IMPORTANT PART).  Well played corporate
woman.  Well played.

Here, the "Your Assistance is Greatly Appreciated" actually means "If you don't stop putting
your nasty ass used tampons in this compartment we will find you and make you eat them."

I suppose this note trumps my note and that my note can now be removed, but currently
both notes remain in the stall.



Housekeeping was also annoyed that we corporate women could not
following simple instructions so they refused to clean the unauthorized
rubbish and used sanitary products from the bag compartment. 
Therefore necessitating a note to housekeeping. My guess here is that the typed
portion of this note and the handwritten portion were done by two separate
women.  The handwriting woman obviously felt the need to accentuate
this letter - with additional snippiness.

So there you have it.  A walk through the gallery of snippy and "you are stupid as hell" notes placed throughout the corporate women's restroom.  I do hope you enjoyed it.

Have a great weekend y'all