Girls on the Run

Not a whole lot has been happening since last I wrote.  I have been fairly successful with the 10 pounds in 10 days diet.  Although I didn't lose a full 10 pounds (most likely because I did take a red wine break in the middle there and I took a couple of "liberties" with the meal plan here and there), I'm pretty sure I lost close to 8 pounds in the first ten days.  The exercises (once I put Earl the Evil Cat in the bathroom with the door shut) seem to be easy enough (assuming I am doing them right) and I only skipped a couple of days of exercise (I had good reason thank you very much).

Anyway, I went home to Asheville this weekend to participate in the Girls on the Run 5K with Maya's 3rd grade class.  She has been training for the race at school and Lisa, Sarah and I joined in as her "running buddies."  I didn't expect that I would be able to run the whole 5K (as I have NOT been training to run a 5K), but I figured I could run for a spell and then walk.  The 4 of us stayed together for about 5 seconds and then Lisa, Sarah and Maya left me in the dust.  Being Asheville and all, the course was quite hilly and so my pattern ended up being run down the hills and the straightaways as much as I could and walk up the hills.  I finished the whole thing in about 40 minutes.  Lisa, Sarah and Maya finished about 5 minutes ahead of me.  I felt pretty good about the whole thing.  Participating in the 5K made me feel a little less guilty about being totally off-diet for the whole weekend!!!  On Sunday evening after I got back to Atlanta, Lawrence and I walked for 3 miles, so I was definitely getting my fitness on this weekend!!!! 

I took Monday night off from exercise (I felt I was entitled) and then got back on the scale this morning and it looks like I didn't gain any weight over the weekend.  I am still maintaining my 8 pounds. I am going to do the first 10 day diet over again (staying as close to the 950 calories a day as I can) and then start on the next 10 day phase where my calories move up to 1200 per day.  I'll keep you posted.  So far so good.  Obstacles on the horizon are (1) Mom, Lisa, Sarah and Maya coming in town for a girls weekend - JeJu Spa and Disney movie planned and (2) next weekend in St. Louis for a graduation party.  I will likely be off-diet for both weekends so I will be struggling to be as good as possible during the work week so I don't fall off the wagon totally!!!! 

Conference Room C is a bit quiet right now.  It looks like we are winding down on this gig, but we still don't have a drop-dead date for when it will officially end.  It is both scary and exciting to think about what comes next (hopefully something will come next).  I will totally miss the Ladies of the Conference Room, but maybe we will do another gig together soon!!

That's all I have for now - not too too exciting, but I wanted to give a fitness update since I so rarely have any fitness to talk about!!!!


Maya before the race

 

All the Girls (Sarah, Lisa, Maya, Me) and Micah

 

Me and Maya

  

Before the race



No sign of me . . . . they left me in the dust. 



 

Maya chowing down on some oranges and water after the race



Dear Mom . . .

To the best and most beautiful mom in the world (then and now) -

 HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!!!!

I love you more than words can say!  Thanks for always putting me in pigtails and for loving and supporting me no matter what.


Yes, that's me wearing the bell bottoms standing up, with Mom

 

Lisa, Mom, Me

One of my favorite pictures of Mom, EVER

 

Me (in red), Lisa, Mom



Lisa, Mom, Me

Me (outside), Lisa, Mom and Granddaddy in the back

 

Just me and Mom



Me and Mom - Striking a pose

We still looking good, yo!!!!!

 And Happy Mother's Day to the rest of you moms out there too (and soon to be moms).  Love y'all!!!!

And That's Why I Hate Exercising . . . . .

Ok - soooooo, I know y'all are probably getting whiplash from all of my fitness / diet flip-flopping, but HEY - I was honest up front that I hated exercise and dieting and that I have a long standing, passionate love affair with foods that will never love me back (krispy kreme doughnuts in particular - those bastards).  The vegan diet thing OBVIOUSLY didn't last, but I have managed to maintain some of the good habits.  I don't eat nearly as much cheese and other dairy as I used to (don't buy it for the house) and I do, overall, eat more raw vegetables.  But alas, I am still in desperate need of losing _ _ or so pounds (I'll keep that number to myself - just because).  I was perusing the Target book section the other day and this Jackie Warner Lose 10 Pounds in 10 Days caught my eye.  It sets everything out simple and easy (yeah, sure) - grocery list, step-by-step exercises, etc.  And the program is only 10 days!!!  The book has three 10 day programs that are to be done back to back (should you need to lose more than 10 pounds - which I do).  This first 10-day session will take me right up to the time I head home to Asheville for Maya's 9th birthday so I will likely take the weekend off (especially if I have already lost 10 pounds!!!!) and then start the next 10-day phase when I get back on Monday. 

Anyway, those of you who have a cat will know that they can be royal pains in the arse.  If I am wrapping presents, Earl the Cat is trying to sit on the wrapping paper.  If I am folding laundry, Earl the Cat is curled up in the clean laundry.  You get the idea.  For those of you who don't have cats, picture a pain in the ass and we are all on the same page.  Well, because it has been sooooo long since I have done any exercise in my own home (walking on the treadmill from time to time notwithstanding), I had forgotten what an evil bastard Earl the Cat can be when you are down on his level doing floor exercises. It is, I guess, confusing to him - and it is CLEAR that I am either in distress (i.e. breathing heavy, sweating, cursing, what have you) or just plain ole miserable.  At first he's all helpful - staying by my side for moral support - holding my book open - inevitably sniffing my face for reassurance, etc. But when he's decided he's had enough - enough of my breathing, swearing, rolling around on the floor - not sure what triggers it - that's when the claws come out and he gives me the ole one-two-punch to the head. Drawing blood. Lots of blood.  And I scream - or cry - and bleed.

And that's why I hate exercising.  It's no fun and it's dangerous and, for me, typically ends with bloodshed.


Sweet, supportive, helpful Earl the Cat



Aftermath of mean, evil SON OF A BITCH EARL THE CAT!!
And yes, I did chase him through the house and beat him with a shoe
(in case you were wondering - I ain't no chump)



He is still hiding under the bed. GOOD. BE AFRAID!!

   

Penis Inquisition 2012.. .

I WROTE THIS BLOG LAST WEEK, BUT KEPT FORGETTING TO POST IT - SO - READ ON.

So this has been a week for repeats.  The gnats are back in full force (the "Death Mugs" are doing the trick - slowly but surely) and Contractor Jenny is once again getting random texts in the middle of the night with penis pictures.  She got two last night at 3am - one right after the other - two totally different penises.  One of the guys realized right away (not sure how) that he had the wrong number and texted back saying "wrong number," to which Jenny replied "yes, it is," and he said "my apologies."  Have you ever had to apologize for sending a photo of your genitals to the wrong person?  Or to the right person, for that matter?  Do they make a Hallmark card for such an occasion?  Well, this morning we made Jenny send "apology penis guy" another text (she was apprehensive about this, but we insisted).   The conversation went something like this:

Jenny:  "Hi, I get a lot of these types of texts and I was wondering if you would let me know where you got my number"?  We waited a long time for his response, but he was the only one to ever apologize for misdirecting his penis so we had high hopes that he would respond.

finally, a response. . . . .

Apology Penis Guy:  "My bad.  I see your interests lie elsewhere."  How does he know that her interests lie elsewhere??  Is it because she didn't immediately responded "SOLD!" or "I'll take me some of that!" or "Yes, please." 

Jenny:  "Well, did you just randomly text me a picture of your penis or did you get my number from somewhere?  I am just curious because I get texts like this a lot and I want to make sure my number is not out there somewhere." The response we were looking for with this line of questioning, obviously, was "I saw your number on the bathroom wall of Suckey's Tavern."  In that case, we would have grabbed an eraser or some whiteout from the supply closet and taken a field trip to handle the sitch tout suite.

She got no more responses from Apology Penis Guy.  We can only assume that admitting where he got the number could link him to some criminal activity.  So then we told her to send a text to the other penis guy.

Jenny:  "Hi, I was just curious about how you got my number."

Other Penis Guy:  "Why, are you interested?"

Jenny:  NO!

She left it at that.  I would have responded "Yes, I am interested in how you got my number. I am NOT, however, interested in your penis."  She started to get worried that interacting with these penis perpetrators would cause trouble for her in the long run so we supported her decision to cease the penis inquisition. We have still not gotten to the bottom of her penis situation.  I mean where are they getting her number???  Is it not really her number, but a few are transposing the numbers so only a few of what could be hundreds of penis photos are making their way to her phone??  It's such a mystery.  They all come in at like 3am and there are typically at least two different models (penis models of course) - and yes, one of the current penis photos was in the bathroom with the lovely toilet highlighted in the background.  At least this one wasn't dangling over the toilet.  Anyway, so Jenny decided to google her number.  Nothing.  Then she tried to look at the personals on Craig's List to see if she could find her number there.  After she opened the first ad, which opened with "WANNA F_ _ _?" she realized she probably shouldn't be looking at personal ads on her work computer. I'm thinking she's probably right about that. 

Jenny got another call the next night - 3am as usual- this time her husband responded to the text and scared the living bejeesus out of the poor fella.  Now I'm feeling sorry for the penis perpetrators - I was hoping it wouldn't come to that.  He said "Who is this? You just sent a picture of your penis to my twelve year old daughter."  Poor penis dude freaked out, apologizing profusely and promising that he will never do it again.  He said he was in a chat room and the "woman" he was chatting with "insisted" that he send pictures.  Hopefully young penis fella has learned his lesson (doubtful).  Don't send your penis out into the cyber world - you never know where it might land.  Unfortunately, we don't know what chat room he was visiting, so the investigation will continue - - - - - as will the penis pics probably.

That was a long penis blog.  Ciao for now.
Amy

Theeeey'rrrreeeee Baaaaack!!

Those asshole gnats are back!  And with a vengeance.  I don't know what prompted them to re-infiltrate my abode.  Mel and I went to the cabin this weekend - and when I got back they had moved in.  They invited all their brothers, cousins and BFFs to move in too.  Maybe Earl the Cat invited them - maybe he was bored, lonely or mad that I left for the weekend and decided to shake things up a bit.  I will discuss this with him later, but I don't feel comfortable leaving him in charge of the house if he is going to let assholes move in while I am gone.  Now I think he can't be trusted.  Nonetheless, I had to drag the "Death Mugs" back out (i.e. DLA Piper and Jones Day coffee cups filled with vinegar) and go back into battle mode to take back my home.  Within fifteen minutes of employing the "Death Mugs" I had already captured dozens of asshole gnats.  I'm not sure if Buddha would approve, but I'm killing those asshole gnats - every last one of them.  I will make up for it (restore my karma) in some other way - I won't step on any ants for a while and I will "try" my best to catch and release any spiders (although that's a weak "try" as you all know how I feel about spiders).  There's a lot of death going down in my place right now.  Hopefully I am not creating any bad death juju.  Maybe I should try some kind of cleansing ritual once I have the situation under control.  If you have any suggestions on how to remove the death juju from my house - I am open to hearing them.

Otherwise, not much new is going on in my world right now.  I am still visiting Conference Room C every day - hanging out with Juniata and Jenny.  Clare is in touch and appears to be enjoying her contract government gig.  We are thinking (hoping) our current gig lasts until the end of July.  My feelings wouldn't be hurt if I had a couple of weeks off between gigs - as long as I know something else is coming around the corner.  I am still enjoying going with the flow.  I signed up for the "Exploring Entrepreneurship: What You Need to Know to Start a Business" class at Emory.  The class was supposed to start today (May 1st), but I got a call yesterday that it has been pushed till May 15th.  It will run one night a week for four weeks once it starts. I am looking forward to the class and will let you know how that goes.

Oh, Darryl and Benji are in Amsterdam - smoking weed no doubt (hee hee hee) and then on to Paris.  If you are interested, Darryl does a great travel blog:  http://www.darrylandbenjitravel.com/


Chat with you more later!!
Amy