I don't know about you, but it seems that whenever I am scheduled to go somewhere for fun, where I might be featured in several photographs, or visit with people I haven't seen in a while, I get a huge zit, contusion, carbuncle or whatever on my face just before leaving. It is a curse that I have been unable to lift thus far. I am on constant search for the antidote. It continues to elude me. Even before I was rudely "made redundant" from DLA Piper back in 2009, Earl the Cat marked me - on the eve of my "redundancy" - by scratching me across the face. Nothing like being made redundant with two festering scratches across your eyebrow. It adds an additional level of patheticness to the whole scenario, wouldn't you say? Damn that curse.
Anyway, as you know, I went to Chicago this past weekend to visit Darryl and Benji. The night before I flew out, I could already feel the underground zit building on my chin. It was the kind where you can't actually pop it, but rather it takes up twice as much mass and just makes the whole area look red and angry. I did as much mitigation as was in my power before turning in, in hopes that it would reverse course sometime in the night. It was silly thinking that the curse would let me off that easy. I woke up Friday morning with Earl the Cat on my pillow - curled around my head. Rather than make him move, I started to fall back asleep. Before you judge me, keep in mind that abuse victims often return to the source of the abuse on average of seven times before actually changing their situation. If we are looking on the bright side - I'm halfway to either killing Earl the Cat with a frying pan or some other less drastic means of preventing him from introducing his claws to my head ever again. As you can surely predict, just as I was almost back to sleep, I was awakened with a panicked cat screech and claws penetrating my head and chin. I think it was my sudden snoring/snorting that startled him (whatever - I'm just guessing again - it could still be the frowzies). I knew I was bleeding, but I just couldn't bring myself to move. As I clutched my head (that's just an instinctive reaction when daggers have just been removed) I thought to myself -
oh yeah, the cycle requires that I now chase Earl through the house and beat him with my flip-flop. With flip-flop retaliation now out of the way, I went to the bathroom to survey the damage. Now my chin housed an underground zit that looked bulbous enough for a small family of spiders to come streaming out at any minute and a collection of fresh scratches compliments of Earl the Cat. Swell, just swell.
Much to my dismay, I did not find Darryl and Benji huddled in a corner of a dank apartment building in the big scary city of Chicago begging for me to rescue them and take them home with me to Atlanta. No, no they seem to be doing just fine in Chitown. Their luxury city apartment is surrounded by windows overlooking the City and Lake Michigan (apparently it's not the Mississippi River. NO!!! Of course that's not what I thought. I say that for clarification only - just in case YOU thought it was the Mississippi River. Sheesh.) We had a lovely three-day visit. It rained both Saturday and Sunday, but that didn't stop us from walking all over the city!! We visited Chinatown, went to an off-Broadway show (Kinky Boots - fabulous!!), visited "the Bean" and Buckingham Fountain and ate lots of good food and enjoyed each other company. I didn't even let it get me down (much) when the dumb-ass waiter at one of the local pubs actually said to me while clearing our plates "
Wow, most people can't eat the whole thing" in reference to my shrimp po boy sandwich. "Really, did you just say that to me?" was my exasperated response. Obviously he hasn't been properly trained in good customer relations - much less interacting with women!!!! And in my defense, it was a normal po boy sandwich - it wasn't the size of two sandwiches or anything!!!! Benji and Darryl both cleaned their plates too and I didn't see him throwing any shock and awe their way!!! The nerve!!
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| In front of Buckingham Fountain |
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| Buckingham Fountain |
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This is us reflected in "The Bean" - I don't know why Benji looks
like a terrorist... |
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Breakfast Bloody Mary
(strategically covering my zit) |
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| After dinner in Chinatown |
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Picture on the boys' balcony - that's Lake Michigan in the background
(aka Mississippi River) |
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Evidence of my most recent feline abuse (ignore the view up my nose)
If you look close enough - you can also see the outline of my new traveling chin zit!!! |
