We Can't Leave the Room Because He Won't Stop Blowing

I understand that we have an ungodly amount of pollen floating around the atmosphere right now and that it affects some worse than others.  BUT FOR THE LOVE OF GOD PLEASE STOP BLOWING YOUR NOSE SO LOUD.  Ok, I've got that out of my system.  I don't know if you fully understand what the Ladies of the Conference Room are being subjected to.  We are trapped in Conference Room C because we are afraid to enter into the hallway!  There are juicy sneezes coming from all directions, constant couching, and to beat all, the loudest nose blowing coming from one office the likes of which even our oldest of Grandfathers could not conceive.  He's not even blowing his nose - it's his SCHNOZ.  Once you can blow a nose so loudly that the entire office can hear you, it is no longer a nose - it becomes a schnoz and should belong to an old old Jewish man named Saul or Uri.  The problem is that he is blowing his schnoz (at top decibel) every 60 seconds.  We have taken to fits of giggles every time he blows - we can't help it - it is so ridiculously loud.  On top of Saul's (and that's not his name - we don't know who he is and we are too scared to get close) schnoz blowings - we have the juiciest sneezes coming at us from all directions - we can see the sneeze splatter floating by the Conference Room door.  The hallway has become a bacteria bath and it is no longer safe to leave Conference Room C.  We are terrified to cross the threshold into the land of schnozes and sneezes.  It might not be simple allergies - it might be SARS or the Plague or the Consumption.  No one but us seems to notice.  Someone should intervene - make the serious offenders seek medical attention.  I think if Saul blows his schnoz at this level of extremity one more time there will be blood.  Oh, there will be blood!!!!  We don't want to be here when that happens.

Help!!! 
Ladies of the Conference Room

[UPDATE - A little while later - I tried to blow my own nose that hard and I couldn't.  I blew so hard my ears popped and things don't feel the same in my nasal cavity anymore.  But I couldn't produce that sound.]