And That's Why I Hate Exercising . . . . .

Ok - soooooo, I know y'all are probably getting whiplash from all of my fitness / diet flip-flopping, but HEY - I was honest up front that I hated exercise and dieting and that I have a long standing, passionate love affair with foods that will never love me back (krispy kreme doughnuts in particular - those bastards).  The vegan diet thing OBVIOUSLY didn't last, but I have managed to maintain some of the good habits.  I don't eat nearly as much cheese and other dairy as I used to (don't buy it for the house) and I do, overall, eat more raw vegetables.  But alas, I am still in desperate need of losing _ _ or so pounds (I'll keep that number to myself - just because).  I was perusing the Target book section the other day and this Jackie Warner Lose 10 Pounds in 10 Days caught my eye.  It sets everything out simple and easy (yeah, sure) - grocery list, step-by-step exercises, etc.  And the program is only 10 days!!!  The book has three 10 day programs that are to be done back to back (should you need to lose more than 10 pounds - which I do).  This first 10-day session will take me right up to the time I head home to Asheville for Maya's 9th birthday so I will likely take the weekend off (especially if I have already lost 10 pounds!!!!) and then start the next 10-day phase when I get back on Monday. 

Anyway, those of you who have a cat will know that they can be royal pains in the arse.  If I am wrapping presents, Earl the Cat is trying to sit on the wrapping paper.  If I am folding laundry, Earl the Cat is curled up in the clean laundry.  You get the idea.  For those of you who don't have cats, picture a pain in the ass and we are all on the same page.  Well, because it has been sooooo long since I have done any exercise in my own home (walking on the treadmill from time to time notwithstanding), I had forgotten what an evil bastard Earl the Cat can be when you are down on his level doing floor exercises. It is, I guess, confusing to him - and it is CLEAR that I am either in distress (i.e. breathing heavy, sweating, cursing, what have you) or just plain ole miserable.  At first he's all helpful - staying by my side for moral support - holding my book open - inevitably sniffing my face for reassurance, etc. But when he's decided he's had enough - enough of my breathing, swearing, rolling around on the floor - not sure what triggers it - that's when the claws come out and he gives me the ole one-two-punch to the head. Drawing blood. Lots of blood.  And I scream - or cry - and bleed.

And that's why I hate exercising.  It's no fun and it's dangerous and, for me, typically ends with bloodshed.


Sweet, supportive, helpful Earl the Cat



Aftermath of mean, evil SON OF A BITCH EARL THE CAT!!
And yes, I did chase him through the house and beat him with a shoe
(in case you were wondering - I ain't no chump)



He is still hiding under the bed. GOOD. BE AFRAID!!